"If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood. I'd type a little faster." - Isaac Asimov

I love Malden Catholic, but I'm glad to be leaving. This school has staged some terrible fundraisers, like the Penny Wars; it has tried some downright stupid things to raise student morale, like transvestite-laden pep rallies. It has become clear to me that nobody at MC knows how to make the school day an enjoyable experience. This school doesn't know what to do with itself. I don't blame any single person for this. It seems to be a lack of interest on everyone's part. I'm sure that the administration is trying its best to increase the quality of life for students. They are showing their commitment to the students by building a new field, and from what I've heard, an extension to the cafeteria. That's a good start, but the answer isn't that easy.

This is a Catholic high school. I came in as a doubtless and faithful Catholic. I'm leaving with a deep conviction that there is no God. This means that either the teachers did an extremely good job at provoking me to challenge my religious beliefs, or that they did an extremely poor job by letting me slip through the cracks of spirituality. But my teachers are excellent teachers. They attempt to connect with students on an intellectual and a rational level. They are interesting, funny, idiosyncratic people who make this school what it is. I credit them for fostering a sense of unyielding curiosity in me and in some, if not most, of my classmates. They are directly responsible for my personal growth; how can I accuse them of spiritual negligence? It is the school's fault for being too secular. A Catholic high school really needs to shove religion in the faces of the students.

Why isn't there anything to protest at MC? There's just not enough controversy, especially for a belligerent jerk like myself. I love being embroiled in trouble, because finding ways to get out of it is more engaging than any in-classroom challenge. Being in trouble is part of the real world. Why isn't the school providing more opportunities for students to get into trouble for challenging it on student issues? Isn't that the real purpose of this school? I think they're falling short.

We could challenge the school on some of its mindless rules. The down staircase is a perfect example. Jesus Christ himself said that the intent of the law is its spirit, not its letter. Telling students they can't go up a down staircase that isn't even being used is just stupid. Why do we, as students, tolerate being pushed around? Apathy, of course. I'm embarrassed to be a part of a school - a community - that nobody cares about.

So I guess this is my resignation from Malden Catholic. I joined damn-near everything junior year because I felt that it was my role in the community. I couldn't make valuable contributions athletically, so I hyper-extended myself academically. This year I realized what a waste it all was. It got me into Harvard, sure. But I could have gotten into college without killing myself.

I won't be around next year. My classmates will be gone. But MC will be here. You'll need new leaders. I'm sure the SAC will appoint the finest president and vice president that are available, but if next year is anything like this year, or the year before, or any of the years I've been here, then our beloved Student Council is going to twiddle its thumbs next year too. Who will step up and carry the torch? I saw a great lineage of Lancers, like Bill Deluise, Will Phung, and James Paquette. But as far as I can tell, nobody is willing to do something to make MC more of a community and less of a social diversion. There are plenty of smart kids here, and plenty of smart adults, but apathy is king. The students need to come together next year to create a group where their voices will be heard. I planned the Student Government Association this year, until they told me I was creating a disturbance and threatened to expel me. I just don't know what to do anymore.

So this is it. MC won't crumble next year, but that's because of the teachers here. I had the greatest corps of teachers this year: Mr. Halas, Bro. Eid, Bro. Petitte, Mr. Mazzei, and Ms. Lee. They, like every other teacher here, have devoted their lives to education, effectively sacrificing their opportunities to be financially successful for our futures. We all owe our teachers our sincerest gratitude. But what we really owe them is some sign that they aren't wasting their time teaching us. If we can't show some interest in our school, then we have no hope.

I think a huge part of what this school is missing is Mr. Abizaid. Never in my life have I met anyone with his power to compel and inspire, nor do I expect to ever meet someone who can match it. He influenced me incredibly during my junior year, and I am aware of the influence that he held over many of my peers. If every student had the opportunity to interact with someone like Mr. Abizaid - an authority figure who challenged his students to think about the big picture of government, society, and our role in both, in concrete terms - then I suspect that that inspiration would be transferred into the students' dealings with the school community. Mr. Abizaid sent me an e-mail recently with a quote from former Supreme Court Justice Louis Brandeis, encouraging me to read a book about America's role in the global sociopolitical structure. If only every teacher here had the same sense of how to change the world, one person at a time, then I truly believe that our students would also have a sense of their ability to change the world, and more immediately the MC community. Mr. Abizaid's ability to solicit thought and action from students was incredible. If he comes back to teach at Malden Catholic, then a substantial part of the solution would be in place, because the students of Malden Catholic would actually be thinking again, challenging again, debating again.

I don't have the answers. My only advice is, take it easy. Be careful not to burn out, but be more careful not to coast through these four years either. You should be involved in some community-enriching activity every day. The only thing worse than overzealousness is laziness. Find middle ground, and stand up for your school. The only way you'll be able to walk up an empty stairway during a class change is to stand up to the rule-makers as a group of students. The only way to ensure group consensus is to establish a student government group. This isn't subversion, it is democracy.

I might write one last edition of THE VOICE. If I don't, then it's been my pleasure writing this column five times. It got me into trouble, it got me sporadic praise, but most often it just got ignored, like so much else in this building. Even though I've given up on MC, I sincerely hope that you don't. This is your life here. Take interest and take part.